How God Uses Lifelong Companions to Carry Us Through Every Season
Have you ever found yourself smiling as you remember an old friend, someone who knew you before your hair turned gray and your steps slowed down? Friendship is among the most gentle blessings, offering comfort when we need it the most.
As we look back on the relationships that have shaped our lives, we discover something beautiful.
Scripture:
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.” – Proverbs 17:17 (NIV)
Additional Verses:
- “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 (NIV)
- “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” – John 15:13 (NIV)
- “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” – Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
Scripture Reflection
On Proverbs 17:17 – “At all times” reminds us that true friendship endures through every circumstance, both joyful and difficult. Some friends come into our lives for challenging seasons, placed there purposefully to support us when we need it most.
On Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 – Have you ever fallen—really fallen—and had no one there to help you up? It’s a terrifying feeling, isn’t it? Solomon knew that we were not created to walk through life alone. We need each other. When our legs give out, when our hearts break, when we cannot find the strength to keep going, a faithful friend reaches down and says, “Here, take my hand.” That’s not a weakness on our part. That’s exactly how God designed us—to need each other, to lift each other, to walk together.
On John 15:13 – Jesus spoke these words shortly before his crucifixion, fully aware of the events that were to unfold. He intended to convey the significance of genuine love, which involves sacrifice, and true friendship, which requires commitment. Furthermore, Jesus did not merely instruct about friendship; he extended it to others, referring to them as friends rather than servants or projects. This passage underscores the invitation to enter into friendship with God, a relationship exemplified by Jesus through his willingness to lay down his life.
On Proverbs 18:24 – Even surrounded by people, it is possible to feel deeply isolated. This verse teaches that true friendship isn’t about having a large group of acquaintances; it is about finding those exceptional individuals who stand by us through tough times and love us despite our flaws. Such a companion is described as “closer than a brother.” In many ways, this reflects the relationship we have with Jesus—He stays when others leave, offering unwavering support even when we feel empty. He is the friend our hearts have always yearned for.
Stories
Ruth and Dorothy: 72 Years of Enduring Friendship
Ruth, age 89, resides in a senior living community. She was preparing to write a birthday card for her friend of 72 years. Their friendship began as young mothers in the church nursery, and over seven decades, they have experienced significant milestones together, including raising children, coping with loss, facing health challenges, and celebrating family achievements.
Although Ruth and Dorothy do not see each other frequently now—Dorothy lives in another facility across town—they maintain regular contact by calling every Sunday after church. Ruth describes their longstanding relationship, noting that Dorothy has been witness to all stages of her life and has consistently offered support and understanding.
Ruth reflected on the impact of this enduring connection, expressing that their friendship has provided continual affirmation and encouragement throughout various life transitions. She emphasized that mutual support and recognition are fundamental elements of true friendship.
Albert’s Coffee Club: The Ministry of Showing Up
After losing his wife fifteen years ago, Albert, now 76, found comfort and companionship by starting what he affectionately calls his “Coffee Club.” Every Tuesday morning at 7 AM, four men from his church gather at the local diner. They always sit in the same booth, drinking the same less-than-perfect coffee, embodying a steadfast presence for each other.
Albert reflects on these gatherings with a sense of humor. “We don’t always talk about deep things,” he says with a chuckle. “Sometimes we just complain about our aches and pains, argue about the game, or try to solve the world’s problems. But you know what? We show up. Rain or shine, good days or bad, we’re there.”
The true depth of their friendship became most evident last year when Albert suffered a stroke. Throughout his rehabilitation, the three other men from the Coffee Club visited him every single day. “They kept showing up,” Albert shares, his voice thick with emotion. “Even when I couldn’t talk right, even when I was frustrated and angry. They just sat there.”
It was during this challenging season that Albert realized the true meaning behind the words of Proverbs: “A friend loves at all times. Not just the convenient times. True friendship was reflected in his friends’ constant support and steadfast company, showing that real bonds are built on being there for each other no matter what, rather than mere convenience.
Rose’s Long-Distance Love
Rose, 82, has a friend she has never met in person. They connected through a pen-pal program during World War II when both were young girls, and they have written to each other faithfully for 70 years. Now they email and video chat.
“People think it’s strange,” Rose smiled. “But Evelyn knows my heart better than almost anyone. We have shared our hopes, our prayers, our griefs, our joys. Distance doesn’t diminish real friendship—it just proves its strength.”
Research supports Rose’s experience. Studies show that maintaining strong friendships in later life correlates with better cognitive function, lower rates of depression, and even increased longevity. But beyond the statistics, Rose reminds us that friendship is about faithfulness, not proximity.
Reflection
True friendship isn’t about how frequently we meet these days, but rather about the depth of shared experiences we’ve had together. Those friends who have been with us through raising children, burying parents, celebrating victories, and weathering storms—they are living proof of God’s faithfulness.
I think of those friends who remember our shared memories even before we mention them. They’re the ones who reach out just to see how we’re doing, who are content simply sitting together without speaking, who laugh at jokes we’ve told countless times, and who don’t mind when we repeat ourselves. These are the friends who have become like family.
What stands out to me about Proverbs 17:17 is that it doesn’t say a friend only loves during good moments; rather, it says “at all times”—through hardships, loneliness, and during periods when we aren’t the same friend we used to be. God places these companions in our lives to show us a reflection of His unwavering love.
Dr. Karl Pillemer, a gerontologist at Cornell University who interviewed over 1,500 older Americans for his Legacy Project, found that one of the most common regrets people express is not staying in touch with friends. “Almost to a person,” he notes, “they wished they had put more effort into their friendships.” The seniors who reported the highest life satisfaction were not those with the most friends, but those with deep, enduring connections—quality over quantity.
Long-lasting friendships hold a special meaning. These bonds preserve our shared experiences and remind us of both who we once were and who we are now. Even when others label us as “elderly” or “frail,” genuine friends continue to recognize the lively spirit within us.
As Henri Nouwen wrote, “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.” This is the ministry of friendship—presence, not perfection.
Here is a wonderful reality: while our friendships on earth support us, they also guide us toward the greatest Friend. Jesus referred to His disciples as friends (John 15:15). He welcomes us openly, never growing weary of our needs, and invites us into a close relationship, aware of our imperfections and loving us without reservation.
Practical Truths (Going Deeper)
- Friendship is built on trust. The relationships we have invested in over decades aren’t accidents; they’re divine appointments. God placed these people in our path to sharpen us, support us, and show us His love in human form. Research shows that people with strong social connections have a 50% increased likelihood of longevity compared to those with weak social relationships.
- It’s never too late to nurture a connection. Even if we cannot move like we used to, we can still pick up the phone, write a note, send an email, send a message on Facebook, or simply pray for those who matter most. Small gestures of friendship still carry enormous weight. As Margaret demonstrated, faithfulness matters more than frequency.
- Quality matters more than quantity, always. We do not need dozens of friends—we need a few faithful ones. Studies consistently show that having even one close friend significantly improves quality of life in later years. It is better to have two friends who truly know you than twenty acquaintances who barely remember your name.
- Friendship requires intentionality, not just opportunity. Albert’s Coffee Club thrives because they made a commitment and kept it. Real friendship in later life does not happen by accident—it happens when we choose to show up, reach out, and stay connected even when it takes effort.
- God’s friendship is the foundation of all others. Even when friends are distant or have passed away, we’re never truly by ourselves. There is always someone who stays closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24)—present with us, attentive, and loving through every moment. As C.S. Lewis famously said, “Friendship begins when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’” Every day, God assures us—He sees us, understands us, and reminds us that we are never alone.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, thank You for the gift of friendship. Thank You for every person You’ve placed in my life who has loved me, encouraged me, and walked beside me through the years. For the Ruth’s and Dorothy’s, the Albert’s and his faithful coffee club, the Rose’s who show us that love transcends distance—I praise You. Help me to be a faithful friend, even in this season. Give me the courage to reach out, the grace to forgive, and the wisdom to cherish the companions You’ve given me. Remind me that You are the truest friend of all—always present, always loving, never leaving. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Call to Connection
Today’s Challenge: Think of one friend—near or far—who has blessed your life. Reach out to them this week with a call, a card, an email, a message, or a prayer. Do not wait for the “perfect” moment. As the seniors in these stories show, faithfulness is about showing up consistently, not perfectly.
Community: Share a memory of a friendship that has shaped your life in the comments below. How has God used a friend to carry you through difficult times? Let us celebrate the companions God has given us
Related Music
- “What a Friend We Have in Jesus” – Traditional Hymn
- “Friend of God” – Israel Houghton
- “You’ve Got a Friend” – James Taylor (speaks to faithful friendship)
- “Blessed Assurance” – Fanny Crosby (about our friendship with Jesus)
Facts & Research
- According to a study published in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior, maintaining strong friendships in later life is associated with better physical and mental health outcomes.
- The Harvard Study of Adult Development, one of the longest studies on happiness, found that close relationships are what keep people happy throughout their lives, more than money, fame, or achievement.
- Research from Michigan State University shows that friendships become even more important than family relationships for predicting health and happiness as we age.
- Dr. Julianne Holt-Lunstad’s research indicates that loneliness and social isolation can be as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day.
Quotes from Resource Persons
Dr. Karl Pillemer, Gerontologist, Cornell University: “The older people I interviewed were unanimous in their advice: invest in your friendships. They are among life’s greatest treasures.”
Henri Nouwen, Spiritual Writer: “When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand.”
C.S. Lewis, Author: “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another, ‘What! You too? I thought I was the only one.’”
Source/Footnotes
- Proverbs 17:17; Ecclesiastes 4:9-10; John 15:13, 15; Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)
- Holt-Lunstad, J., et al. (2010). “Social Relationships and Mortality Risk.” PLOS Medicine.
- Pillemer, K. (2011). “30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans.” Hudson Street Press.
- Harvard Study of Adult Development (ongoing since 1938)
- Nouwen, H. “Out of Solitude: Three Meditations on the Christian Life.”
- Lewis, C.S. “The Four Loves.”
- Stories of Margaret, Harold, and Rose are composites based on pastoral encounters in senior living communities, with names and details changed to protect privacy.