Building a Life That Will Matter in 50 Years

Inspiring the Future | For the 20s–40s Generation

If you want to know how to live today, talk to an 80-year-old. Ask them: “What from your 30s still matters to you now?” Their answers will surprise you—and they might just redirect your entire life.

The View from the 80-Yard Line

I am not in my 70s or 80s yet, but in my work as a chaplain, I spend my days around people who are. I started asking them: “What from your 30s still matters to you now?”

Their answers have completely changed how I look at my own “emergencies.”

I have realized that at 80, life has a way of sifting the sand from the rock. The things that feel like a “crisis” to us right now, the missed promotion, the house being too small, the busy schedule—mostly vanish from memory by age 80. They are just sand.

Here is what the 80-year-olds have taught me that lasts:

• The “Rock” of Relationships: They do not talk about their offices; they talk about their dinner tables. They remember the time they spent, not the money they made.
• The “Rock” of Character: One man told me, “I wish I’d dealt with my temper when I was young instead of letting it follow me to 80.” The person we are becoming today is the person we will have to live with later.
• The “Rock” of Faith: For those who are finishing well, their faith is not just a Sunday habit; it is their oxygen.

I am learning that we are building our “80-year-old selves” right now. Every time we choose to forgive, every time we prioritize our family, and every time we sit down to pray, we are placing a rock instead of sand.

I do not want to get to 80 and realize I spent my life building a beautiful house on a foundation of sand. I want to listen to those who are already there and start building on what lasts.

Wise Builders and Compounding Grace

In Matthew 7, Jesus speaks of two builders: one on sand, one on rock. The difference was not visible until the storm hit. To build a life that lasts 50 years, you must build on the “rock” today.

1. Character over Competence The person you are becoming matters more than the position you are reaching for. Humility, integrity, and faithfulness are not just traits; they are “investments” that compound over decades.

2. Presence over Promotions Your marriage in 50 years depends on your daily investment now. Your children’s memories are built on your presence, not your productivity. You cannot “buy back” the years you spent being emotionally absent while physically present.

3. Disciplines over Moments A deep relationship with God at 80 is the result of thousands of small prayers in your 30s. Spiritual disciplines—Bible reading, prayer, and church community—are the gold and silver that survive the fire (1 Corinthians 3:12).

Wisdom from the Finish Line

When you talk to those who have already crossed the decades, a pattern emerges.

• The Regrets: Neglected relationships, unaddressed anger, and bitterness that “poisoned” thirty years of a life.
• The Gratitude: Choosing to forgive quickly, prioritizing a spouse, and the daily habit of prayer that sustained them through grief.

Notice the theme: Regrets center on character; gratitude centers on relationships.

You Are Building Your 80-Year-Old Self

Every choice you make today is a brick in the house you will live in at 80.

• Today’s forgiveness becomes tomorrow’s freedom from bitterness.
• Today’s integrity becomes tomorrow’s trusted reputation.
• Today’s neglect becomes tomorrow’s isolation.

You do not wake up at 80 and suddenly become wise, gracious, and loving. You become at 80 what you have been “becoming” all along.

The Long View

The career will end. The house will be sold. The awards will gather dust. But your walk with God and the people you loved? Those are eternal.

Start building now what you want to have then. Invest in your marriage. Be present with your kids. Cultivate your soul.

Fifty years from now, you will be so grateful you did.

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Reflection & Action

This Week’s Challenge: Reach out to a senior you admire, like a grandparent, a mentor, or a neighbor. Ask them: “What is one thing you did in your 30s that you are most grateful for now?”

Or you may want to go a bit further by doing  The Wisdom Hunter’s Interview Guide:

5 Questions to ask someone in their 70s or 80s

1. The “Value” Question: “Looking back at your 30s, what is one thing you spent a lot of time worrying about that you now realize didn’t matter at all?”
2. The “Gratitude” Question: “What is one habit or discipline you started when you were younger that you are most grateful for today?”
3. The “Relationship” Question: “If you could go back and give your younger self one piece of advice about marriage or parenting, what would it be?”
4. The “Regret” Question: “Is there a character trait (like pride, anger, or fear) you wish you had dealt with sooner? How has that shaped you?”
5. The “Faith” Question: “When life got really hard—in the ‘storms’—what was the one truth about God that kept you standing?”

Why am I challenging you to do this?
Don’t waste decades figuring out what matters by trial and error when wisdom is sitting right across the table from you. One afternoon of listening to an elder can save you years of chasing things that were never meant to last.”

Scripture for the Week: * Matthew 7:24-27 (The Two Builders)

• 1 Corinthians 3:10-15 (Building with Gold and Silver)
• Proverbs 24:27 (Establish your work, then build your house)

Further Reading:

• Piper, John. Don’t Waste Your Life. Find this book
• Keller, Timothy. The Meaning of Marriage
• Swindoll, Charles. Living Above the Level of Mediocrity. View on Amazon